How to Have Good Sex By Yourself

Discover how to have good sex by YOURSELF! Solo sex is in babe and we're talking about how to turn yourself on; how to get in the mood and the ultimate female masturbation tips!

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It's time for me to get on my feminist soapbox and talk about FEMALE MASTURBATION. And not only share some lovely female masturbation tips but get real about how to have an awesome and FULL sex life when you're by yourself (yes it is possible!)

Today I'm sharing how sex can still play a big part in your life even if you’re not having any with an actual partner; the best vibrator for women; how to get in the mood AND ultimately how to have good sex by yourself.

*Cue Pussycat Dolls I DON'T NEED A MAN theme tune*

How to Be Good to Yourself

Before we get into the nitty gritty of how to turn yourself on and what not, I want to start with this little gem- just in case you haven’t been told lately- you don’t have to have sex if you don’t actually want too.

Whether you’re in a relationship, single or dating- sex doesn’t have to be part of your life until you’re ready.

Unfortunately I think a lot of the time it’s impressed upon us that if we’re not having sex something is missing in our lives; sexual activity is something we should all be aiming for ALL THE TIME.

But this doesn’t have to be the case, you can still be a sexual person when you’re not having sex, and if you’re not having sex right now because you don’t want too you can OWN that choice rather than feeling bad about it or feeling like you have to justify your actions (or non-actions!)

You can have the sex you want and this includes having good sex by yourself.

How to Have Good Sex By Yourself

Another PSA- your sex life doesn't have to die a slow death if you're not with a partner at the moment! You don’t have to be in a relationship to have sex just like you don't have to have sex when in a relationship.

The key to having a good sex life when you're on your own is investing in yourself; knowing your pleasure is worth bothering about, actually prioritising yourself and making time to have a good time.

After all, we're all guilty of putting pleasure on the sidelines, and when we've got a lot of sh*t to do masturbation is the last thing on our minds (for most of us anyway!)

It's also about knowing yourself- knowing what turns you on, how to get in the mood and what you actually want.

As I said before, having the sex you *think* you should be having doesn't equate to having good sex by yourself- it's about making it right for you.

So essentially having good sex by yourself is all about investing in yourself- first getting to know yourself and then making time for yourself to seek pleasure.

Related: How to Start Building Your Sexual Confidence Today

How to Turn Yourself On

Learning how to get in the mood by yourself can be a challenge if you're newly single and have always depended on partners for pleasure; if you don't know what you like yet; or, if you're nervous about masturbating.

But ultimately it's about three key things:


As much as we'd all like to crack one out at any given moment, if we're talking ultimate masturbation goals here then you need to consider timing.

The right time means NO INTERRUPTIONS!

It also means space to focus.

As we all know, the brain is the biggest sex organ so keeping yourself as stress-free as possible is the #1 thing you can do to turn yourself on and get in the mood- don't attempt to masturbate whilst thinking through tomorrows spreadsheets and don't try to squeeze it in quickly before your roomie gets home!


Yourself that is. Yes you may feel silly to start with, but actually putting in the effort to romance yourself could be key to getting you in the mood.

Help yourself relax into the moment and treat yourself just as well as you'd treat a partner.

Instead of just hopping into bed and trying to reach the goal as quickly as possible; work yourself up to it by having a long bath, put those sexy candles on, BARRY WHITE YOURSELF UP!

You deserve this.


Fantasies are fabulous at turning you on in preparation for the main event.

Maybe remembering a previous *awesome* experience will help turn you on?

Or, if it's hard to think of what you want, I recommend accessing some sources of inspiration (Porn is most definitely not just for men!)

If porn is a little daunting or you're not a visual person treat yourself to some erotic literature on Amazon- you can get some for under five pounds!

The #1 Female Masturbation Tip

One word- Lube.

Seriously, use lube and it’ll change everything.

If there’s one thing that’s going to skyrocket your sexual experiences it’s this bottle of joy!

I used to believe lube was just for old people and paper-dry fannies; I was super small-minded and MISSING OUT because of it!

In actual fact, these tubes of goodness can take a sexual experience from zero to hero immediately. If you’re experiencing discomfort; if you’re on the drier side; if your medication is wreaking havoc down below OR if you just want to make things more FUN.

You need a good quality tube of lube.

And I say good quality because your sexual health is not something to mess around with babe. There’s a lot of nasties in lubes that cost 50p from the local market so MAKE SURE you invest in something skin-safe!


FYI: Personally, I LOVE Yes lubricants because they’re all hypoallergenic, PH balanced for the vag, they don’t have any weird tastes or smells AND they’re compatible with all kinds of condoms *safety first*.

Also, essentially, they don’t make me feel like my insides are burning!


More than anything else in this blog lube is the thing that will help you have good sex by yourself. As soon as you add lube to a sexual experience you’re just making the good time even better.

Find your perfect lube by clicking here!

The Best Vibrator for Women

Ah sex toys- I think we’re all aware how much I love them (will this website ever have enough sex toy guides? Never!).

Sex toys are a fabulous way to explore your sexuality, to turn yourself on and to have good sex by yourself.

The first thing I did in my route to sexual fulfilment was ban sex with anyone but myself (drastic times called for drastic measures) and when I felt ready I bought a mini sex toy haul.

And, my ULTIMATE FAVOURITE MOST BEST sex toy has to be the vibrator: Micro Magic Wand.

Firstly, it’s small and discreet- so travelling isn’t an issue nor is living at home with the ‘rents- secondly it’s easy to get a CRAZY AMOUNT of pleasure from when using it alone.

This baby looks so subtle but honestly it packs a punch. The head moves around freely so you can angle it correctly to your body *directly to your clit* and there are two speeds of vibrations so you have a choice of how intense you'd like the rhythms.

If you're here for clitoral stimulation, this is my vibrator recommendation for all women!

Related: The Ultimate Guide to Sex Toys for Women

In general I can't recommend magic wands highly enough- the clue is in the name, these little babies are fairy dust for your fanny!

They can be used in solo or partnered play, they come in all different sizes and speeds and they can be used for sensual massages too. They're built for clitoral stimulation- and they do the job WELL.

And, if you're to believe everything Sex and the City told us they also calm screaming babies. Seriously magical!

Find your perfect *vibrator* magic wand today!